Where to start?

I would not presume to believe that everyone will read this blog anymore than I could hope for everyone to take something from it. The simple answer to the question: "Where to start?" is to participate. As a people, we have grown complacent in our duty to ourselves. That may sound entirely complicated and I apologize, but when we participate, we are not doing so for a country, we are not doing so for a state, we do so for what is important to us. As an example, and I beg you to read past one word in this statement as my beliefs and values are different today, I initially registered to vote 4 years ago and at the time I registered as a Republican. I have found that I am no more a Republican than a Democrat and that devoting ones self to a party is a blind way of handling business. Today, I listen to everyone, research what they say to find truth or lies, and then make an informed decision for myself on the topics that are important to me. As a quick example, some of the topics important to me as a Veteran, a husband, and a father are:

• Education
• Women's equality (my wife has been the provider for our family for some time)
• Family Values
• Looking out for our own (own being those within our borders)
• Economic stability

Those are just a few topics important to me. Some of them are conservative, some of them are liberal, either way its what I look for in everything that comes out of Washington. Some topics that really make my blood boil have to do with helping under-privileged people in other countries while ignoring our own.

• Homelessness
• If we have a million empty houses in the United States, we have more than enough Homeless people and families who just need a little help to get restarted.
• Hungry
• We send millions of tons of food to other countries to feed the hungry people in "Politically Sensitive" areas. In the mean time, our own hungry people eat broth in dirty bowls and drink what looks like coffee from used Styrofoam cups.
• Jobless
• Our own citizens will not work at jobs that pay less than minimum wage to work because unemployment makes it easier to be unemployed.

Each of these topics will get their own blog post at some point. We as a people, have a responsibility to our neighbors inside our country more than those an ocean away. But in that last sentence, I must also remember that I cannot, and will not tell anyone what to think and do, it is up to them to find their own answers. To be a leader, you must first understand that those following, usually do so blindly. I ask anyone that follows this blog, please do so, but educate yourself outside of my postings as well. Make your own decisions in the end.

Family Dynamics

Today's family will typically require both parents to work in order to scrape together enough money to maintain a lower-middle class status. This was the case with my wife and I up until my back injury. Were it not for my Veterans benefits, our family of 4 would be living with my wife's parents in their 2 bedroom house. As it is, we were lucky enough to find a good landlord, who just wanted good people to take care of the house we are currently renting. My wife works from a home office that is crammed in our bedroom answering phones for the local phone company. Her wages are just above average for the area. I am home to take care of the kids on the off days and after school, and we are considering home-schooling next year. We will cover education in a later blog.

We have found that what we can live with, and without, is far different than what we used to think when we both were working full time. For example, a package of food that we would eat in one meal, now can be stretched into two. Whereas my wife would refuse to eat left-overs before, now we have a leftover night at least twice a week.We have cut our portions of food to the "serving size" as well, which has allowed us to cut our food bill in half. When we both were working, $800.00 a month on food was typical for a month. Looking back on it now, I can only imagine how much we wasted. We have also cut out non-essentials like soda and sweet snacks from our shopping lists. Fast food has also become something of a "once in a while" food as compared to an "every time we are out" food. My wife and I have found the change easier than my children, who do not understand why we are not letting them have free range of the kitchen anymore.

For those of you curious, my twin 10 yr old boys are "bean poles" and want to eat everything that looks good in sight. My wife and I however, after decades of eating and drinking whatever we want, are now over-weight. It is our desire to slow our kids down to prevent the same from happening to them as we both started out skinny as well.

Television, computer, and video-games were once being used simultaneously and without limits. I have had to fight my kids (kicking and screaming), to cut back to computer only when they need it for school, video games have been reduced to half an hour or less a day, and the television is only used certain nights of the week and no more than two hours as needed if watching a movie.

Instead of the above dominating our lives, we have started a small potted garden that we all help maintain. As we can afford it, we buy a new plant. We spend time together playing board games on the evenings we do not have a show/movie to watch.

We have also done away with our cell phones and purchased a go phone for when we are away from the house. My wife and I both had smartphones with ATT and my kids had an emergency phone for when we would let them go somewhere. All together, our cell phone bill was close to $300 a month, today we pay less than $30 a month.

While my boys are still trying to transition into this new life we are creating, my wife and I have begun to settle in just fine. We have found that it has brought us all closer together as a family and the boys are looking to us now for entertainment. Both of my sons have shown a great interest in cooking, and after a couple of weeks of training, they now help cook dinner every night with little supervision. We take turns on different stations making a meat, a side, and a vegetable. The most important thing we have learned (most of us, my wife is still a bit hard headed :) ) is that there is much more to life than money and we are finding we are happier with less (except as just stated).

No more

I look out at the world and I see problems everywhere. For us in the United States, our way of life is not good enough for us (us being a general term). For someone in a less-developed country, we are rich in everything but life. There is no point in placing blame anymore as to some degree we must all burden that responsibility. Most of my generation, and those who have come since, have been labeled the "entitled" generation. "I deserve to have a nice house, a nice boat, a nice car, etc..." For those of us who do not feel entitled, we feel that we, as a people, have been let down. We are quick to place blame with crooked politicians and growing consumerism, but where we should be looking is at our family values.

For me, as a child, there was no limit to the area I could go. There was no worry that I was going to be kidnapped, and no worry that I was going to get into trouble. I knew from the instant I left the house, if I acted up, or did something wrong, I was going to pay for it with a belt across my backside. Having a family member drag you to the bathroom was sure sign you were in trouble. When you came out of the restroom, there was no doubt on anyone's mind what had just happened. Today that does not happen. All it takes is one individual to make a call, and your whole family will be sitting in front of Child Protective Services. In the one instance that did happen to me, I met with the proper people and told them what was going on, told them the extent of the punishment that was given, and they told me that the case was closed as they felt that I acted within the confines of my rights as a parent.

Where this is all going is that, today, as a people, we are weak in our resolve to do anything for the fear of being told on. We fear the stories, the looks, the process. As a fairly young, but disabled man, I would fear the looks I would get for taking the electric shopping cart at the store when I appeared otherwise healthy. Im here today to say no more, and I am asking you to join me as well. No more should we fear what others think. No more should we interfere in the parenting of a child. It is too late for our generation to save ourselves, but by instilling the proper values and beliefs in our children, they may have a chance at effecting real change when it is there turn. Those values and beliefs can only come from you, and any change is hard, but we should no longer neglect our roles and responsibilities as parents and as Americans.